The psalmist

Since its early 2020, I'm gonna do some recap on my past experiences with the church community in particular. So I was born and raised in a traditional church. Then I sort of questioned God at a very young age..asked Him: Why is it in the Bible its recorded that You do all these great & mighty things but I don't see it in my life or in the church I grew up in. I guess..I was still too young to understand that God's power is manifested in many different ways. Thank God, somehow along the way, He revealed Himself to me, not tangibly but in ways that I am convicted that Jesus is the Way and He is God. & yes I've also experienced the miracles and seen God's MightyHand at work too. Although I have left that church, I didn't leave because of conflict. I left because I don't find that I belong there and I don't fit into their mould.   Then when I was sixteen, my school mates and I, kind of, started a local church. Its a long story but put it...

Its the New Year! Year 2020. A decade has passed and bam! We're in the new era. I'm just grateful that I made it. Many time, I thought that I'm a goner in 2019. Man..was 2019 tough! Looking back, I can just stand amaze at how I could see today's light of day. Of course, its all God, not me. For 2019, I was tested - financially, emotionally and spiritually. The battle was fierce and constant. Sometimes I win, sometimes I loose. Sometimes, I just can't be bothered! Despite the fiery furnace experiences, I have also seen how God delivered. Either through miraculous provision or favour. God is good, in the good times. God is still good, even in the bad times. Really, am grateful. I also thank God for blessing me with good Christian family, who are there with me in my tough times. They can't do much but pray and encourage me. May not look much but it does help. Now, 2020...I don't know whether the fiery fire is over. But oh well, suffering is ess...

When we are in a position of influence whereby we can make a difference, what are we to do? Especially if the non-action would cause a great injustice. Should we exercise the influence and pursue the call of justice? Such situation reminds me of Esther. She was blessed to become the queen, the wife of King Xerxes.  During that time, her people, the Jews, were under threat of annihilation. What she did was she set up a meeting with the King(despite such rule that she is not allowed to do so) and sought the King's favor to protect her people. It was really a risk because though being queen, she is still subject to the King's rule and punishment for breaking it may be fatal! Look at the former queen Hadassah  Vashti! She was dethroned! Well thank God she decided to speak up and a generation of Jews was preserved and is still alive and living till this day. Would she be spared if she were to keep silent? And would it be the end of her people? Esther 4:14 "For i...

I was reading John 11:14-16. 14 So then he told them plainly, “Lazarus is dead, 15 and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.” 16 Then Thomas (also known as Didymus[ a ]) said to the rest of the disciples, “Let us also go, that we may die with him. ” Thomas’ remarks where totally out of this world!  He thinks he’s being super  ‘spiritual’ by saying that. Can’t help but wonder, where on earth did he get that idea?  Why is Thomas’ remark written in scripture? Are the scribes oblivious to what should be recorded and what shouldn’t? I believe that it is recorded for a reason. And there are some beneficial insights which we can gather therefrom. Well, there are people who are like Thomas. Who always have a need to say something in response to a statement made. Often than not, it is made without much thought or in the know. What are their motives? Why is it made? So, what are the lessons to be learnt here...

Due to the recent economy downturn, my business has not been doing so well. I've been suffering for years now and I'm hoping that things would take a turn soon. Hopefully! When Sunday comes, I always think to myself: How to give in such a time like this? I'm in business, so I don't have the luxury of a fixed income. If I give, what's going to happen to me.  However, I am convicted that no matter what is the economy, I am to give my tithes and offering. No compromise! Its not that God needs it. Its what God's Word has stated and I am to obey. Give I shall, despite how painful it is. Giving is an act of worship. Giving does require sacrifice! Well, what do you know! The next day, the very amount I gave in my offering, and the amount that I gave to bless others, came back to me! And the amount which I got back was a little bit more than what I have given. This is not the first time, by the way. I have been experiencing this for weeks after weeks now. I...

The flood came to Sarawak again this year. Sigh! My heart goes out to those affected by it. Here are some pics taken by our local residents. Villagers from Bau area being evicted to the nearest retreat centres. Oh my dear Waterfront! How swollen is the Sarawak River! My heart goes out to the villagers who are living at the river side. This is the only connection to Sri Aman, Betong, Sibu up till Miri! I hope the water recede soon so that cleaning works could take place.

I hate addictions! It took away my identity. Every time I indulge, the very bits which forms a part of me is stripped away. Many times, I felt like this:  What did addiction took from me? Here's a number of list of things that I want to specifically state: (1) my health. (2) my clarity and sharpness of mind. Which affected my job performance. (3) productivity. (4) relationship with God & others. Why? Coz you wanna spend more time with your addictions, not with the rest of the world! (5) empathy toward others. The aim of addiction is numbness! Not only does it numbs our feeling so that we don't feel stressed out with our problems, it numbs out the feelings(the necessary ones) towards our loved ones and the needy. (6) creativity. This is one of the dreaded loss! I have not been writing songs or blogging during that awful time. (7) my hobbies! I have not been singing on the guitar and piano. Not been listening to music for inspiration. Sucks! (8) time! Was...

Its Year 2016! Greetings and happy new year though its already the month of February! I have not been blogging! Had a rough bout last year on an addiction which I'm not prepared yet to share publicly. Here's the thing about addiction. When I am faced with frustrations in life, when I feel the pain that goes with it, in order to escape it, I turn to that particular form of addiction(I shall call it "nonsense" hereinafter!). First try, it seems like its a relief albeit knowing that its sin. Then there's the battle of "don't-do-it!" and the total opposite of that. Unfortunately, when the pain comes again, the winning team is the of course the "do-it!" team. It goes on and on, the repentance and falling to sin again, goes on and on. Like a never ending cycle! Do I get sick of it? Yes, I do! It sucks! Keep telling myself I gotta end this or else I'm gonna fall deep into the abyss. The deeper it is, the harder it gets to get out of it. So...

The things that has been happening since mid June until recently got my head scratching, like the babe in this pic!       Really? Say what? Speechless? How can that be?  I was expecting that when there are overwhelming evidence there ought to be a case met out. But..no. Instead, the tables were turned against the ones who acted on the available evidence. With what's going on my beloved land, I can't help but wonder whether I got my law right. All those 3 years of legal study, bar exams, the practice itself, has seemingly gone to waste if things are to go on this way. There seems to be no justice here(have mercy!) The changes are overwhelming. I don't know what God is doing BUT I do rest assure, that He is not folding His hands in relaxation mode. God has a plan. Perhaps, this turn of event is shaking the people to stop being complacent. To rise up for justice and fairness. To be bold even if its requires us to face off suffering and death.  ...

While I was walking at the streets, here and there, everywhere, I see people going about their ways either talking on the phone. & if they are static, they'll be looking at their handphone. Hello! Peeps! Can't you watch where you going or be aware of your surrounding? If only they knew they are an easy prey to the snatch thieves lurking out there! Or worst, who knows there's an emergency situation whereby we need to evacuate(oh yea..call me paranoid, but when it does happens, you gotta thank me!). Its alarming that we allow technology to distract us. I believe that a majority of our hours are spent on technology alone. Not only does it distracts us from productivity, it causes us our relationship with people! Oh dear....wonder what would this generation end up as. Cringe... Back in the day, where there's no such thing as technology, people still have distractions in their life. Remember what Jesus told Peter and the sons of Zebedee. "Watch and pray, lest y...

This picture was taken from the NST. Its about 4 tourist who posed nude on Mount Kinablau recently and was remanded for having committed such acts. Many were grieved by the acts of these nudist and have blamed them as having caused the earthquake. Me? I won't go to that extreme BUT I cannot blame the Sabahans, as the mountain is considered to be sacred grounds to them. When a matter is sacred, we need to show them respect and keep to their rules. After all, its their place, its their ground. Not ours. And I just don't know where these nudist put their brain..ahh...yes, too much nudity, that they are stripped off any form of intellects. Anyway, like I have said, these nudist did not cause the earthquake. Rather, they have committed a criminal offence. It baffles me why would they do such a thing? What is so great that they have to strip on that mountain. What are they trying to prove? Well, one thing they did prove is that they are obnoxious people, stupid, rude and disre...

On this day, I celebrated my birthday. I'm so grateful indeed to be blessed with another day to live. An opportunity given by God to make amends, to seize the day and achieve the goals planned out for me. On this same day, Sabah has declared a day of mourning for the lives that were lost due to the earthquake. My facebook is flooded with news of the unfortunate incident, pictures of the young students and guides who died due to the quake. My heart aches seeing it. Most of them are so young. http://www.theborneopost.com/2015/06/06/monday-declared-day-of-mourning-for-sabah-out-of-respect-for-victims-and-families/ Looking at my life in light of the young lives that were lost, one may think, oh, its such a pity that they have lost their life at such a young age. Well, for me, it doesn't matter how long we live here on earth. What matters most is whether we have lived our life here well or not. As for the lives of the guides who were lost, some are even younger than me, I ...

Lately, my level of patience & showing love has been tested. A fellow friend in Christ got involved with an unbeliever. As much as my heart aches seeing her going against the very thing which we have been taught in Scriptures about BNG relationships, I had to remind myself that I am to love the person & hate the wrong. I wish not to confront (even with much grace within), fearing being shut off from the relationship. But if I were to keep mum, especially when I know that close friends are accountable to each other, then her blood shall fall on my hands. Besides, real friends are there to tell us what is wrong with us even when it hurts. Oh God, I hate confrontations! Well, needless to say it didn't go too well. The tables were turned against me. It was highlighted that I am not worthy of comment due to certain flaws in my attitude(which I did not deny & telling her, I'm working on it). And the list goes on and on. I know I'm not perfect, but if everyone has...

At last, I've written a song after many months for not doing so. But this time I'm not going to do gospel songs. Chose to do delve into indie folk vibe..something that has been my desire. I got my muse back having encountered relationship that was not a healthy one...not me of course. Nevertheless, it inspired me. Behind it all I am annoyed with a certain girl who takes her boyfriend for granted. It was a relationship which prior to it all happening, I have advised her not to get into it but neah...she did not listened..Anyway..here's a portion of the song, the gist of it all: Don't play with love, its not a game, Don't turn what's pure into a shame, I've said it then, & I'll say it now, You're not there... Don't play with love, its not a game, You play it wrong, one would go insane, I've said it then, & I'll say it now, You're not there.. Yes, to that girl..I've said it before it all started.....

Love this song & the video clip. It speaks to me. And it reminds me of my past that never cease to give me the chuckles. So the story goes like this...When I was staying in the big city during my university hey days, one cannot help but get weighed down by the traffic, the presence of too many people and not forgetting the noise, the fumes. I remembered once I got so frustrated with the bus service that I decided to walk home. And home was about 5-6km away. But walked I did. And while I was walking, I noticed that I cooled off. The mind works better when it is calmed. And guess what my mind told me? What on earth are your doing walking back home? Its getting dark, etc. Due to sanity coming back to me, I decided to wait for the bus to go home.  Well, I never regretted that day! That walk. It was memorable. My advice when you're angry or stressed up. Walk. Jog. It'll do you good. And it'll make you come back to your senses. 

Its Sunday night and soon its gonna be Monday blues. No better way to shake it off by going out, chilling with friends and listening to good music. My pick for a hang out on this blissful Sunday is Speakeazy located at Ewe Hai Street, Kuching. When I stepped in, I was greeted warmly by its owner who is also a childhood friend of mine. The feel of the place is truly homey, comfortable and the ID is so refreshing!  Me and the bosses. Don't mind the hat!! As per the boss: those who goes behind the bar must wear the hat! Its cray cray but hey! Its all about fun! Notice the junk foods behind, nicely stacked giving you the tuck shop vibe. Its intended to be that way coz the boss wants the place to be down-to-earth..not posh like. If you notice, there are books displayed on the top shelf. The boss said that you can take those books but in exchange you have to give yours to them. A book exchange program in a bar!! How do you like that?? From my pics, the place is brightly lit, a...

I have sensitive skin. My face tends to have flakiness on the brow area and redness and dryness around the nose. On a bad day, I not only have to suffer shame due to the awful sight of the redness and flakiness, I too have to suffer the itchiness and at times soreness on my face. It was horrendous. As much as I want to save my pockets n skin care products, unfortunately I cannot with such skin condition. So I decided to try the skin care from Clinique. I opted for the basics which is the cleanser, the toner and the moisturizer for sensitive oile & dry skin. When I first tried it, I was afraid that the toner may be too strong due to the smell it emits. However, I faithfully stayed through with the products and after about 5 days I could see a radical change to my face. I am so ecstatic! This product works for me and now, my face looks radiant and smooth. No more redness. No more itchiness. This is money well spent! Total price is around RM300-350. Yes, yes..I too have t...

Took this shot while doing my runs at Reservoir Park. I love the sunset scenery. The colors. The shadows. The reflection of the trees and lights on the lake waters depicted in the photo. Looking at this, the song 'When morning comes & evening fades, You inspire songs of praise' came to mind. Its been awhile...me and music...me and making new songs. Perhaps this is God's way of reminding me to keep on writing songs for Him.  Well...I need a boost to inspire me.  Its true what Darlene Zsech have said in her devotional for the 'Revealing Jesus' album. We need to spend time for creativity...other than God, family, ministry. I suppose the reason for giving our time for creativity is to avoid the idle mind. After all, the saying goes that an idle mind is the devil's playground. As I write this, I hope and pray that I'll get pumped up to make music again. Or maybe...I just need to soak into God much more. That too....

In every relationship, there will be the riffs, the conflict, the misunderstanding. When it happens, I need to remind myself that people make mistakes...people need room to grow...so what if they are wrong & we are right? We uphold the right with much love and grow. Having done that, we leave the other with the opportunity to learn from the mistake. Sometimes, leaving a relationship for a certain issue which isn't significant is not worth it. Should I close one eye to a wrong or be dumb about it? Of course not! Please do tell...but say it with love. Say it once or twice, but if our advise falls to deaf ears, just drop it & continue to pray that the other would eventually wake up one day.  And when we're the wrong party, lets not react negatively. Do eat the humble pie. Check our life and choose to do the right thing. After all, I acknowledge that there were many things that my friends & love ones were right about..Boy am I glad that I accept their advise and ...

Pork burger, pork chops with sausages & lamb cutlets.     Sparkling water passion fruit flavour Believe me. This pub restaurant is called Oinks! There's nothing that I don't like about this place. From the decoration to the lightings. The entertainment offered - football enthusiast would definitely enjoy watching their favorite team while sipping their choice beer and with food too. Don't shy away from bring your family here. Coz this is the place which is family friendly. Then there's the food. Ooh la la! Picture pigs prancing in heaven! Its that jolly good and the best part is it doesn't burn your pockets. I always leave this place a happy, satisfied woman. Like in Psalms 128:2 "You will enjoy the fruit of your labor." Oh yes I am...always while I'm in Oinks!  My highest recommendation & I swear by it is the Grilled Salmon. It is served with yummy mash and a creamy white sauce which I guess may have a tinge of cheese in it. ...