Looking for love...the sentiments of it all
Being single is a blessing. Especially if one has a career & pretty much independent in many ways. I for one, see singlehood as a blessing indeed. However, don't get me wrong, I do toy with the idea of settling down one day, God willing, & I do not discard marriage as a plan in my life altogether.
Maybe the reason why a single person may not be keen to enter into a serious relationship which leads to marriage is because they are afraid that the relationship does not pull through. & when this happens, both would end up being hurt. Well, I would like to stress 3 inevitable facts that we need to know when one wants to head towards this path line. No. 1, like it or not, the pursuit of love is risky & costly. Its eactly the same like entering into a business venture. Either you profit or you stand to loose. So we need to live with this fact. No.2: We need to keep an open mind & positive attitude. If we don't get a partner, at the very least, we gained a friend. Unless of course if the person is a person of bad character, then cut them off altogether. No. 3, there is no such thing as "THE ONE." There are the right type of people. So don't fall for that myth.
So how should a single person approach this journey of looking for the love of their life? Hahaha..Really, I don;t have all knowledge in this. But there are guidelines which I find out that it is easier said then done. I shall share based on my personal experience. I'm not an expert but I learn from my mistakes. Please don't judge me for my downfalls either. None of us are totally there yet when life is concerned. We must learn from our mistakes & never give up trying. Now for the guidelines..
Firstly, the clear guidelines are of course, to check whether the other share the same values, belief and standing as yours. Why? The differences of values, belief & standing is often the main contributor to a broken marriage & broken home. Before one takes the plunge to pursue a relationship which leads to marriage, think far ahead, especially on this point: Would we want to see our children be a victim of the marriage? Yes, think about the children.
I would like to expound more on the clear guidelines. Its a simple principle but by all means, its the hardest to follow. Why? Because of emotions. Though emotions are lovely , it can overpower our rationality...& often than not,many succumb to them. Yes, the pain!
In the journey, one also has to do their part as well. Don't expect the significant other to fall out of the sky! We need to go out there & make ourselves known. If you're a religious person, go look for your candidates at your place of worship. If it need be, place a little bit of trust on our parents, trusted friends to look for person whom they can introduce to us. I'm sure they being persons closed to us would know what we're looking for in a partner.
So what next? If you find a person that falls within the category of what you're looking for in a partner, get to know them as friends. This is so hard, especially if one finds that the other is irresistably good looking. I know. Been there, done that. You see, if one allows emotion to kick in, (of course you gotta have some emotions for the other), & when we allow ourselves to be driven by those emotions at a speedy rate, guess what happens? We either get crushed (like one suffering the after effect of taking too much sugar on an empty stomach) or we get blinded (whereby an obvious flaw goes unnoticed).
What is good about being friends first? Through friendship, we can find out more about their true character. Friends don't hide their flaws from others. Real friends are not afraid to point out the wrongs. & real friends listen to advice given to them. If, God willng, both good friends still has that attraction towards one another, great! That would be a good start for a relationship which, again, God willing, would turn to marriage.
All you singles out there! If you're thinking of pursuing marriage, do read this. I'm learning as well. All the best. Cheerio!
Maybe the reason why a single person may not be keen to enter into a serious relationship which leads to marriage is because they are afraid that the relationship does not pull through. & when this happens, both would end up being hurt. Well, I would like to stress 3 inevitable facts that we need to know when one wants to head towards this path line. No. 1, like it or not, the pursuit of love is risky & costly. Its eactly the same like entering into a business venture. Either you profit or you stand to loose. So we need to live with this fact. No.2: We need to keep an open mind & positive attitude. If we don't get a partner, at the very least, we gained a friend. Unless of course if the person is a person of bad character, then cut them off altogether. No. 3, there is no such thing as "THE ONE." There are the right type of people. So don't fall for that myth.
So how should a single person approach this journey of looking for the love of their life? Hahaha..Really, I don;t have all knowledge in this. But there are guidelines which I find out that it is easier said then done. I shall share based on my personal experience. I'm not an expert but I learn from my mistakes. Please don't judge me for my downfalls either. None of us are totally there yet when life is concerned. We must learn from our mistakes & never give up trying. Now for the guidelines..
Firstly, the clear guidelines are of course, to check whether the other share the same values, belief and standing as yours. Why? The differences of values, belief & standing is often the main contributor to a broken marriage & broken home. Before one takes the plunge to pursue a relationship which leads to marriage, think far ahead, especially on this point: Would we want to see our children be a victim of the marriage? Yes, think about the children.
I would like to expound more on the clear guidelines. Its a simple principle but by all means, its the hardest to follow. Why? Because of emotions. Though emotions are lovely , it can overpower our rationality...& often than not,many succumb to them. Yes, the pain!
In the journey, one also has to do their part as well. Don't expect the significant other to fall out of the sky! We need to go out there & make ourselves known. If you're a religious person, go look for your candidates at your place of worship. If it need be, place a little bit of trust on our parents, trusted friends to look for person whom they can introduce to us. I'm sure they being persons closed to us would know what we're looking for in a partner.
So what next? If you find a person that falls within the category of what you're looking for in a partner, get to know them as friends. This is so hard, especially if one finds that the other is irresistably good looking. I know. Been there, done that. You see, if one allows emotion to kick in, (of course you gotta have some emotions for the other), & when we allow ourselves to be driven by those emotions at a speedy rate, guess what happens? We either get crushed (like one suffering the after effect of taking too much sugar on an empty stomach) or we get blinded (whereby an obvious flaw goes unnoticed).
What is good about being friends first? Through friendship, we can find out more about their true character. Friends don't hide their flaws from others. Real friends are not afraid to point out the wrongs. & real friends listen to advice given to them. If, God willng, both good friends still has that attraction towards one another, great! That would be a good start for a relationship which, again, God willing, would turn to marriage.
All you singles out there! If you're thinking of pursuing marriage, do read this. I'm learning as well. All the best. Cheerio!
Comments
It's even better if we are happy where we are & let marriage find it's way to us.
=)
Marriage is a blessing and the Bible did say "a man who finds a wife finds a good thing" and I'm sure it goes the other way round too. :)
As for me personally, I'm not the type that would settle for something less. Marriage is serious "business" and therefore I'm entitled to be fussy on who's gonna be my wife. But you see, when I find her, I would treasure her 'coz she's rare.. ;)