He's 90+, but he thinks he's in his 30s...

My Akong is 92, or maybe 93 this year. Whatever it is, he's 90+. I grew up seeing him as fit and healthy man. He was in his 70s when we first went to the Bakun dam for a boatride. I remembered Akong with his hands folded to his chest, sitting firm like a rock in the boat, despite the choppy waves hitting against the boat.

I always pictured this in my mind. That should he pass on, it would be a quick & painless one. Nope..don't get me wrong. My Akong is still alive. He's not too fit as before, but he's not in any excruciating pain or anything. Its just that the doctor discovered that he has Alzheimer like towards the end of 2008. It was really a shocker for us. No wonder at times he tends to loose his way...or forget what he was doing. There was once, when he thought he was in his 30s, working as a foremen. Unfortunately, his condition worsened 2 weeks ago due to a fall. He started seeing things, delusional. Then he thought my Ama died..obviously she's not, & starting crying bitterly.

It really grieves me to see my Akong. I'm not used to seeing him this way. I guess, its something that I have to get use to. Some of my love ones want him to go for further meds, traditional treatments, etc. I'm Ok with medication. But I have to come to realization that Akong is old. He's lived his life longer than his peers. The body gets weak & death would necessarily ensue. As long as he is still here with us on earth, the best way is to prepare him, to assure him that God is waiting for him. & most of all, to take time just to be with him in his last days.