I fight....I loose

Somethings I would fight for,
My belief, my right, my stand,
I'll send out a shout of war,
Till my enemies could no longer withstand.

But in somethings I'll refrain,
Like as if that I've surrendered,
Like a loser in a competition,
Cause I don't want to be on the hurting end.

For I fight for what is right,
Which I plainly know in my heart,
Is a battle that is an obvious clear cut,
I'd give all just to win that fight.

For the things that I don't quite need,
Which I think I can live without,
Things that may leave me blinded,
Closed my door, get it out of my sight.

So I settled for loneliness,
To avoid me from straying,
Into the unknown pathway,
That may lead me into failing.

Loneliness won't kill,
So the famous song says,
Will I rise & find the will,
To try my hand in this quests?

Would I fight this uncertain battle?
Which I always rendered a loss?
Should I set sail for this unchartered waters?
Would I dare to bear the cost?

I ask myself at times,
Why can't I win this?
Maybe its cause I don't try,
Maybe I just fear that I'll cry.

Its not worth it I say,
I've been through a lot to get this far,
Don't want to go back that way,
& revisit the pain of the deep scar.

So would I go on with this fight?
The one which I see as not a need?
Take up fight or take up flight?
I don't know, I guess I'll have to take heed,
To the sights, signs & sound,
Of the other heartbeat,
Whether it'll beat to the tune & in sync with mine.

Written by: Jezzy Dior
Date: 2nd October 2010